Hangin' At The Woody PT 2. Snorting Shots!!

I gotta tell ya, this was not one of the best ideas we ever had. Turtle had heard somewhere about some 80's rock band snorting tequila shots. Now, before you say it, YES, it DOES sound crazy! I'd also heard a story about an 80's rock band that had injected vodka DIRECTLY INTO THEIR VEINS. Well there was no fuckin' way I was gonna try THAT shit, I'm scared to death of needles. Fuck you. I'm not a pussy. I had a bad experience.

So, we each get a shot. I wish I could tell you that I snorted that shit down like a champ, and then yelled like Tarzan. That would be a lie. You see, snorting shots works like this: The membranes in your nostrils are really thin. I could hit you with a bunch of medical shit, but fuck that. What it boils down to is that your body absorbs alcohol a lot faster if you snort it. I hear that it's even faster if you make yourself an alcohol enema, but I'm not trying THAT shit, either. I've already got snorting under my belt, that's more than enough. It's something you should only try if you're already near pissing yourself drunk. Turtle and I took our shot glasses, clinked them together, said "Cheers!", took straws, put one end in a nostril, the other in the shot glass, and took a deep snort. I wish I could explain to you the lingering pain that follows that snort. They should use this technique to torture terrorists. Imagine shoving lit matches up your nose. Got that picture? Good. Snorting shots is worse than that. Keep in mind, I was already babbling drunk. I STILL FELT THE PAIN. But here's the funny part: I couldn't stop! That shit really works! It's not a gradual thing, it's instantaneous. After two shots, I tried to do some kareoke. I was seeing triple. I stumbled to the stage, grabbed the mic, and tried to sit on the little stool. The next thing I know, I'm looking at the ceiling. I missed the stool. Like I said, not my most shining moment. And what's worse, I think I kinda enjoyed it.