Of Moonshining and Moonwalking....

I had a thing with an old friend once. I can't righteously call it a relationship, neither one of us really wanted one of those at the time. It was more like a fling. As in, we'd run into her bedroom, fling our clothes to the floor, and fuck like rabbits that had just been released from a long stretch in prison! It was a lot of fun, believe me, the urgent sex was a bonus. We'd known each other for years, but both of us were attached during those times. We would do some harmless flirting, but nothing beyond that, as neither one of us were into cheating. It was around my birthday one year, when I got an email from her asking me how I'd been. It was good to hear from her, because we hadn't talked in a while. I knew she was currently unattached, and I told her that I had recently gotten out of a relationship myself. She messaged me back this :"Can I have you?". I thought to myself "Well shit. I've always wanted to fuck her absolutely senseless, why not now?". I told her okay, and she took me to dinner. After dinner, we went back to her place, and fooled around a bit. And, by "fooled around", I mean we made out, felt each other up, checked out each others equipment, and such. It was like recon just before an attack. A little while after that, I found out that she had no gag reflex. Jackpot. Are you fuckin' serious? She put my entire schlong in her mouth! Lemme just say, I'm hung like a fuckin' horse. Fuck you, I am too. I can have numerous women back up that boast. She was really good at it, too. I hate those chicks who think a blowjob is just putting your cock in their mouth and bobbing on it for a while. Fuck, get into it! Enjoy it! I certainly am! I also hate it when chicks act like they don't know what they're doing so you make them stop in the middle of it. Really? That's such utter bullshit. This chick was neither of those. She blew me like she was a fuckin' pornstar! It was great! You know when I was a teen, some friends of mine had started to call their dicks microphones. From that point on, we were always looking for chicks who could "rock the mic". This chick was very proficient. I took to calling her Ms. Articulate. She had a nickname for me, too, but that's another story. Well, Ms.Articulate had family in the Deep South, and went to visit them. She came back with a Mason jar full of moonshine. She gave me a shot to taste, and it was pretty good. Now I'd heard stories about chicks taking shots of moonshine and giving the warmest blowjobs you could imagine. I mentioned it to her, and she was all for it. She took her shot, and started on the mic. Ohhh, yeaaahhh, that's niiiice! It was so fuckin' warm, it felt like my dick was wrapped in an electric blanket. But then it got warmer. Then it got hot. Then the shit started burning! And I mean burning like I'd just dropped my cock onto a barbecue grill. Hot like she had a fuckin' blow-torch in her mouth. I snatched my cock out of her mouth, did a backflip across the mattress to the other side of the bed, and ran into the bathroom to the sink, yelling the whole time. She told me it looked like I was moonwalking across her bedroom floor. As it turned out, she didn't swallow her shot. Due to a miscommunication, she thought I meant blow me with the moonshine in her mouth. To this fuckin' day, I swear she did it on purpose. She's way to intelligent to make that kind of mistake.....